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| Age: | 29 |
| Highest Score: | 67 v Witham |
| Best bowling: | 7-65 v Copdock II |
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Antman is a medium pace bowler and lower middle order batsman who is always available for any women wanting to make their last night of freedom extra special. He played Division Two cricket last season and picked up 11 wickets at 24 each, finishing fourth in the averages. Anthony is very aware of nutrition and the need for his five fruit & veg a day, hence why he can always be found with a couple of ripe plum tomatoes about his person. |
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| Age: | 21 |
| Highest Score: | 84 v Abberton |
| Best bowling: | 5-20 v Witham |
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Bakes scored over 200 runs for the 1s in 2008 and seems to have found a space in the slips. He is team taxi driver nowadays and can be contacted for a town pickup for a reasonable fee. Please remember to belt up if you do use his services. Bakes has also gone the past four seasons without having a shower and people are advised to approach him gingerly after a game. |
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| Age: | 26 |
| Highest Score: | 103* v East Bergholt |
| Best bowling: | 6-22 v E.A.G |
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Nowadays more monk-like than monkey-like, Chaminda bats all over the order for the 2s. However it was his bowling which took him to the top of the wicket-takers in the 2s this year. The highlight was his 8 wickets to win the game against Witham after which he went home to don his infamous "shagging" shirt...although the creases may have indicated it had just been taken out its packet. |
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| Age: | 51 |
| Highest Score: | 76 |
| Best bowling: | 3-27 |
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Music guru Mick has now moved onto Sunday friendly cricket, now being the mainstay in the Railway Tavern's All-star line-up. He was second team captain for many years, nurturing many of the players within the club. However, it would appear that most of his students haven't fully taken on board, the role that stopping the ball with your shin can play in the modern game. Over the last few years he has worked tirelessly behind the scenes to ensure the success of the town's Brightpop festivals, much to the delight of the thousands of Captain Beefheart fans in the area. |
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| Age: | 35 |
| Highest Score: | 14 v Maldon |
| Best bowling: | 4-26 v Kelvedon IV |
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Barney Warne only recently took up cricket, but has already proven a match winner in the 3s taking wickets so far this season with his unorthadox wrist spin!! As well as fathering three of the new breed of Brightlingsea cricketers, Carl also walks to the crease with his bat over his shoulder in a caveman style!! |
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| Age: | 17 |
| Highest Score: | ?? |
| Best bowling: | ?? |
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Ross is a fast bowler and a lower order batsman who will be looking to cement a place in the second XI in 2009, but may need to work on his hands-in-the-pocket fielding. Soss can generate some real pace when he puts his mind to it....sadly the same cannot be said of his current mode of transport. |
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| Age: | 29 |
| Highest Score: | 97 v Long Melford |
| Best bowling: | 7-14 v Eight Ash Green |
| Personal Details: |
1s skipper Wes is a medium pace bowler and middle order batsman who took a very impressive 31 wickets for the first team in 2008, as well as finishing fourth in the batting averages. He works for Chelsea Football Club and through this gets to meet many famous sports stars of past and present. Thanks to Wes the clubhouse now has a proliferation of signed memorabilia hanging on its walls, including shirts signed by former football legends such as Doug Rougvie and John Bumstead. |
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| Age: | 33
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| Highest Score: | 47 v Gt. Bentley
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| Catches/Stumpings 2005: | 9ct/4st
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Planet Block was the first team wicket keeper for a number of years as well as doing sterling work off the field on the social commitee. He was at the forefront of the decision to have Stella in the bar which pleased many of our members, especially his dad Ian who drinks copious amounts of the stuff whilst watching our home games. Richard is now a livestock owner and has a number of chickens to look after. Sadly, his previous wicket-keeping skills have come to the fore and the number of eggs that make it from coop to house isn't as high as it should be. |
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| Age: | 21 |
| Highest Score: | 11 v Elmstead |
| Best bowling: | 5-20 v St Margarets |
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Like his brother Graham, AB is a spin bowler. Unlike his brother, Andrew takes wickets! (sorry Chaz). Ten wickets in total for the 3s in 2005....which is probably more runs than he's scored in the past two years! Andy enjoys dressing up in ladies clothes and has caught the eye of the playboy skipper of one of our opponents this year. |
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| Age: | 26 |
| Highest Score: | 81* v Coggeshall |
| Best bowling: | 5-23 |
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Choz is the tallest skipper in the Club's history after taking control of the 3rdXI a few years ago. Chaz is primarily a Lucky 7 expert nowadays having lost the ability to bowl non-turning off breaks, but occasionally bats and scored 400 runs for the 2s in 2008 which included his first ever six! After acquiring a degree in Accountancy at Essex University, he has an unrivalled ability to handle astronomical figures. Enough about his love life though....... |
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| Age: | 24 |
| Highest Score: | 56 v Frinton |
| Best bowling: | 5-22 v Maldon |
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Yes boy, yes boy.....Brown Master Funk and Ray Reardon look-a-like look-a-like had a good season in 2008 as he finished top of the 2s batting averages and also picked up 12 wickets. He missed out on the batting awards as Craig gave it to himself. Although Browny Jn is keen to be a rapper in America rapper in America, he is currently working as a trainee electrician. Oh, and if the chain breaks on your bike on your bike, the King of Bling King of Bling may have a spare one hanging around (his neck his neck). |
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| Age: | 33 |
| Highest Score: | 112* v St Margarets |
| Best bowling: | 3-16 |
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Tripod Cracknell has been a mainstay of the teams' top orders for 15 years now. He couldn't make it to Mildenhall for the 2s so played 1s and never looked back, as he scored over 300 runs for the first team. He has put in a lot of hard work over the last few seasons helping prepare the wicket, for which Wes and the other bowlers in the club are forever grateful for. Toby is also the current naked boundary run champion; he won by a length.....
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| Age: | 18 |
| Highest Score: | tbc |
| Best bowling: | tbc |
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Preposterously coiffured MD is a solid performer for the 2s despite his young years and ridiculous hair. He'll be looking to take more wickets next season and with more luck, he will. Mike is Rob's brother and as well as sharing family, they share a similar distaste of the forward defensive shot. |
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| Age: | 20 |
| Highest Score: | 48* v Clacton III |
| Best bowling: | 8-43 v Clacton III |
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Froggy, owner of the 'widow-maker' left-hook, had a good season for the 1s picking up 20 wickets. His batting is improving and most experts do say he has a good eye. Rob always seems worse for wear at club functions and has been sick at two of them. Good job then that he lives within spitting distance of the club bar. He has asked us to advise you that he is now no longer the official club no.11. We ask you to take a look at Steven Hempstead's profile for further information. |
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| Age: | 34
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| Highest Score: | 129* v Cavendish |
| Best bowling: | 7-58 v Ipswich 2s |
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Lamb-chopped Craig is a stylish top order batsman who has plundered many an attack over the years with his powerful hitting. He is 2s skipper and scored over 400 runs last season and cranked the shoulder up for a few overs of viciously turning off-spin. Tonker has a young son, Oscar, who is a keen spectator of his Dad's batting, however the frequent vomiting should not be taken as critical comment. |
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| Age: | 30
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| Highest Score: | 153* v Frinton III
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| Best bowling: | 6-19 v Frinton |
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Doove is a stylish, bald, top order batsman and bald off-spin bowler. Colin scored over 250 runs last year despite a bare patch in the middle. No doubt though that toothless Doove will be looking to improve on those figures in 2009. Colin is allergic to boiled rice and having lost some of his teeth, his hair and having never had any looks to miss, he's hopeful that the batting skills last a little longer!! |
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| Age: | 33 |
| Highest Score: | 50+ |
| Best bowling: | 7-90ish v East Bergholt |
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Marathon Man Frenchy has been away from the town for quite a few years now and is living in London. Graham is famed for the comedy moments that he has provided and for the fast left-armed bowling that used to tease the outside edges of many batsmen (as well as teasing the teeth of many of us in the nets). He once also brought a ton up at O. I.'s but he prefers not to talk about it. Graham is always welcome to make guest appearances for the side and show us that he still does have the flair he used to have. As well as being a Charlton Athletic season ticket holder, he is also a life-long supporter of Brightlingsea Against Live Exports... |
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| Age: | 50 |
| Highest Score: | 47 v St Margarets |
| Best bowling: | 4-3 v Stutton |
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Joe as he is known is the chairman of the club and bar manager. In his playing days Joe was a middle order batsman and specialist slip fielder where it is reputed he took one or two stunning catches (who writes this?). Despite his numerous roles, he also puts in a lot of hard work throughout the year to help things run smoothly. He has done a great job with the bar over recent years has the Chairman. By stocking it with various intoxicating 'drinks' he ensures that players are so drunk by 8pm, they are unable to go elsewhere thereby boosting the profits. Joe also supports Chelski although we doubt we'll hear much about their recent season throughout the summer months as Joe's not one to harp on...! |
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| Age: | 22 |
| Highest Score: | 56* v Halstead |
| Best bowling: | 7-52 v Felixstowe II |
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Potato fan Dan is a left arm fast bowler and a left handed batsman and also a member of Mensa. He didn't play as often as he like in 2008 but when he did, he bowled well for the 1s and took 7 wickets. A keen student of the game, it is unfortunate Goulda has a phobia which causes him to vomit violently and then fall asleep after a few hours watching it. |
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| Age: | 20 |
| Highest Score: | 121 v Abberton |
| Best bowling: | 2-1 v Elmstead II |
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Josh is a top order batsman, wicket keeper and ambidextrous bowler who has been in the 1stXI for the last few seasons. A useful fielder he will be looking to improve on his run tally of 129 from last season. Has acquired the nickname John Paul during the football season so I'm assuming he has something in common with either the last Pope or a French fashion designer?? (can someone in the know tell me, please - we like to stick to the facts on this page). |
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| Age: | 17 |
| Highest Score: | tbc |
| Best bowling: | tbc |
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Another of the Gould mafia, Luke is wicketkeeper for the 1s. Currently rivalling Browny Browny for the King of Bling status in the club, Ayrton Senna is a hit with the young ladies. And all team-mates are very keen on keeping up with Luke's latest exploits. Please note, on a completely different note, it is beneficial for all team-mates to have bluetooth enabled on their mobile phones. |
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| Age: | 18 |
| Highest Score: | 60* v Sudbury III |
| Best bowling: | 5-38 v Wivenhoe III |
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He used to be an opening bowler, his name is Brad, instead of hair he has a brillo pad. Bradders mainly played 1st team cricket last season, and mainly as a batsman, scoring over 140 runs. Bradley is a ladies' man. Away from cricket he is training to be a plumber (good the club are short of those these days!) and is an amateur photographer still learning his trade. Well the pics on his phone suggest so, he always seems to cut the head out of shot. |
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| Age: | 25 |
| Highest Score: | 111 v East Bergholt II |
| Best bowling: | 4-13 |
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Harry Jeffers is the club dendrophile. Last year he didn't play many games for the club due to his job reporting on huge news items in south Wales. Point of warning, if you are a lady and you have pride of place in Harry's mobile phone address book, look out for photo-messages around Awards Evening. |
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| Age: | 33
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| Highest Score: | 55 v Elmstead |
| Best bowling: | 8-42 v Eight Ash Green |
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Hempy donned his blue and green whites to play two games last season, in which he picked up 13 wickets and 1 broken finger. According to doctors, it was the longest healing broken bone in human history. He is one of few in the club who can fit into clothes (or more specifically Barcelona Olympic shorts) that he bought 14 years ago and is now also online and on Facebook. However reports indicating that he thought it was a cosmetic surgery site where he could finally buy that Daniel Craig mask, are wide of the mark.
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| Age: | 26
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| Highest Score: | 78 v Mistley |
| Best bowling: | 3-15 |
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Hicks van Nistelrooy played for the 2nd and 3rd teams last season and once again proved his worth as a middle-order batsman and a good fielder, and no mean wicket-keeper and death-bowler. The inventor of the 'Portella' & "Portoff Ice", Rob made some important contributions to both teams in 2008. He is the self-proclaimed number one spinner in the club having picked up one wicket for the 3s. A man of many faces (though mainly Postman Pat), his comedy bowling impressions are a sight to behold and usually leave the other players in stitches. The deliveries themselves meanwhile can also end up in stitches, Stitch's back garden over by the football club. |
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| Age: | 34 |
| Highest Score: | 140 v Presidents XI |
| Best bowling: | 5-29 v Little Bardfield |
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Naturist Simon is a very attacking batsman that has won (and lost!) many games for Brightlingsea with his aggressive stroke play. Scored 330 runs for the 2s last season. He is also part-time press officer for the club (the part-time being when he scores some runs). Simon is so committed to the club he has a Brightlingsea tattoo on his chest and has been known to play an entire weekend of cricket in the nude!! Occasionally a little short of cash, we tried to ask the manager of the local Ladbrokes if he knew why this could be....however unfortunately, we couldn't catch him in his brand new Ferrari with personalised number plate - "1 LUV H1ND3R5' |
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| Age: | 17 |
| Highest Score: | tbc |
| Best bowling: | tbc |
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Liam is a talented batsman and occasional leg-spinner for the 2s and 3s who didn't feature as much as he would have like this season (therefore sabotaging Craig's Lucky 7 team). When on form, Liam's batting is very pleasant on the eye. When not on form, Liam's bowling can be very pleasant on the eye to opposition batsmen. But hopefully next season, the re-appearance of Liam will see two big things improve. No, not those.....we mean his batting and bowling. |
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| Age: | 26 |
| Highest Score: | 150 v Haverhill |
| Best bowling: | 5-50 v Bury St Edmunds II |
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Rodders is an opening batsman and spin bowler who has been with the club since 2005. He won the 1st Team Batting Award in 2007 and 2008, and scored TWO centuries in TWO days(!) at the end of the 2008 Cricket Week. In all he scored over 660 runs in 2008 picking up the Batting Award, and we'll be looking for much of the same next season. |
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| Age: | "Age isn't a problem boyo!" (in other words...83) |
| Highest Score: | A few Fifties in my time |
| Best bowling: | Several 9 Wicket hauls and any time I don't bowl a no ball! |
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Taff is a medium pace bowler who after spending several centuries in the 1s and 2s, is now bringing much needed experience to the 3s. He also represents the Two Counties League Over 50s side on a regular basis and is well known for his no-balls that happen on an even more regular basis. Brian bowls off of 3 steps. BT is always good for a quote or two like "Have a shy" and "It's a long walk for a duck", which was followed by a long walk, which was followed by a golden duck. Despite his advanced years Taff still picked up 19 wickets last year and can still run quicker between the wickets than Jamie. Brian wears sunglasses that make him look like Tom Cruise and we look forward to seeing the bald assassin in 2007......if he remembers to turn up. |
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